- The ocean. I don’t like to swim in it, but cruising on it is highly recommended by yours truly. Wonder and amazement right here.
- The temple. Pretty sure this one gets better the more you go. It’s been killing me that the temple has been closed since we’ve been home. So glad it re-opens today!
- These sheets. Uh-mazing. Seriously, the softest things ever. Get them. And the pillowcases.
- Gift cards. We got a bazillion of these things for our wedding, and they have seriously been the bomb.com.
- Mormon messages. We’ve been watching a lot of these lately and the spirit they bring is super sweet. I have yet to find one that doesn’t make me cry.
- Karaoke, mainly for the people watching.
- This brow pencil. I have always been curious as to how these things work because I don’t particularly like my eyebrows and think they could use a lot of help. Got my makeup done at MAC for our bridal shoot, chick used this pencil, sold. Makes such a huge difference, but still natural looking! Love it!
- Laundry. I have been blessed thus far with someone that does my laundry for me, i.e. my mamasita (whose favorite chore is laundry) and BFF Celeste (who tried for a year to teach me). You’re in shock right now, I know. I don’t care. Since becoming a wifey I have taken on the demons called Washer and Dryer. And I have found that I rather enjoy doing it.
- Groupons + Living Social Deals. They have some good stuff. I would suggest you sign up for their emails here and here.
- Hotels. I stayed in five different hotels this month. Five, people. That’s got to be some kind of record. Best part of staying in a hotel: Someone else cleans your room for you. In some hotels, twice a day.
- Maxi dresses. I wear them almost every day. I think this means I need more!! ;) So comfy, so cute.
- Spider solitaire. MRudd and I would play this on the cruise while waiting for shows to start. Didn’t take long for it to become an add-ic-tion.
- Staples OptiFlow pen. Best pen ever. I have an internal meltdown every time I forget it somewhere. One time I forgot it in Tucson, and it was awful.
- Our shower curtain. It makes me so dang happy. Isn’t it happy?
- Jack in the Box’s Oreo shake. Another addiction. A bad one. But oh so good.
- The Olympics. I love me some competition.
- Oh, and my husband. I have one of those now. Awesome! He's the best!
I have been missing my grandma a lot lately. I'm not sure if it's because of the wedding or what, but she has definitely been on my mind and on my heart. Last night was particularly rough. MRudd and I were curled up in bed, watching Mormon messages to wind down before going to sleep. We were watching this video when I lost every ounce of grief and heartbreak I've been bottling up the past couple months. While not our case exactly, this story and my grandma's story have a few similarities, which explains why it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I cried and I cried and I cried and I cried.
I felt extremely raw, and very small and alone. I knew that I should be happy for my grandma; she was dealing with countless trials when she was killed, and she is now free from those and somewhere beautiful. But in that moment, I decided that it was okay to cry. It was okay to feel grief and heartache and loss and sadness and pain. Those feelings are real, and they are deep, and they need to be felt. I prayed silently for comfort, for faith, and for peace. It was late, and I was physically and mentally exhausted. Then the thought came to ask Michael Rudd for a blessing. He, of course, did not hesitate. In the blessing, he said that angels were watching over me. Soon after my grandma was killed, I received a blessing from my stepdad. That blessing specifically told me that my grandma was to be my guardian angel. For this reason, I believe the blessing my husband gave me last night was a reminder that she's here, that she's with me, and that she loves me still the same.
Today would have been my grandma's 64th birthday. After work, Michael Rudd and I visited her grave and took her some new flowers. Yellow roses, her favorite. We came home and made chicken and dumplings, one of her specialties, for dinner, and then took out my remembrance box and just remembered. It is my hope that by being involved in the memory of my grandma while her passing is so fresh on my mind and so heavy on my heart, that my pain and weakness, my grief and heartache, will slowly become a strength and a firmer testimony of what's in store.
I am so grateful for the plan of salvation, for the knowledge that I have that someday I will see my sweet grandma again. I am so grateful for the power of the priesthood, for a husband who worthily holds and willingly exercises it. I am grateful for the moments of despair and utter sadness, because without them I would not fully understand the joy. Most of all, I am grateful for a loving God who understands our trials and our heartaches, who listens anytime we call.
I'm sure you've seen the Ryan Gosling "Hey girl" spoofs that are all over Pinterest. Here are a few of my favorites.
Hope these brought a little sunshine to your Monday :)
third eyegiant zit in the middle of my forehead that won’t pop dang it.
- Not being able to keep eyes open during photo shoots because of that Arizona sun
- Crying two nights in a row while watching karaoke versions of songs like “Carwash.” And no, these were not laughter tears. Real tears, guys. Real tears.
- Asian lady fascinated by my fixing up a baked potato from the buffet. Excuse me, lady. I’d appreciate it if you’d move your head from between my food and my face. Personal space anyone??
- Having my mom help me clean up and put together our little newlywed home.
- Elevator door open. Ten people don’t move, but just stand there and stare at you. You stare back. Elevator door closes.
- Hearing, “Honey, I’m home!” from the other room
- The endless gifts and presents
- Re-washing the same plastic spoon for an entire week because we have zero dishes
- The hubs using an ice cream scoop as a substitute spoon for an entire week because we have zero dishes
- Finding a hidden stash of paper plates, bowls, and utensils in our kitchen cupboard after finally giving in and purchasing dishes
- Flee market at Ensenada. Hit. It. Up.
- Turning a war zone into a cozy little home in a day
- Reeses Puffs. Minus the sicknast coating at the end.
It's been hard not having my grandma here during this whole wedding planning experience.
I know she's of course been here the whole time, but just not the way I'd prefer.
Bachelorette party tonight...Feeling semi-nervous.